SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
Q: Should I have another baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Air traffic controller: "Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
Airline pilot: "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet.How much noise can we make up here?"
Air Traffic controller: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 737?"
Doctor, are you sure Im suffering from pneumonia?
I've heared once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus.
"" Don't worry, it wont happen to me.
If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia.
Yo momma is so poor that when I saw her last week walking down the street kicking a can, so I asked, "What are you doing?"
and she said, "Movin."
How can you tell when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with, "A man once told me."
Why did the auditor cross the road? Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.
Yo mama so ugly when she threw a boomerang it never came back.
Chuck Norris taught Micheal Jackson to moonwalk.
Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!